Count Arthur Strong

Michael returns from a stay in York to find that Arthur has written a racy novel for the over-70s, Fifty Crates of Plates. Before realizing just how scandalous the book is, Michael passes it to his agent Sheila for her consideration.

Arthur recalls how he fell for a girl named Eileen 50 years ago, but she rejected him in favor of a man from the Royal Air Force. Michael decides that flying lessons would be a nice present for Arthur.

Kept awake by midnight construction, Arthur tries to persuade local election candidate J. P. Cooling to put a stop to them. As a result he puts himself forward as a candidate.

After seeing Arthur's failed psychiatric assessment for a reality TV show, the local cafe owner is convinced that Arthur is a dangerous psychopath. Meanwhile a rogue plumber, who has been ripping off the cafe's customers, makes the mistake of calling on Arthur to repair his boiler.

Michael is pleased when he learns that he is to be featured in a television interview. However he is afraid that Arthur, who has taken over a role as a living statue, will upstage him. To make himself seem more interesting Michael tells a lie, but the consequences are in Arthur's favor.

Arthur moves in with Michael and they immediately clash over what to watch on television. An exasperated Michael befriends cafe regular John and is accused of disloyalty by Arthur, spurring one of the café's waitress to organize a group therapy session.

Arthur is outraged to see that on the Psychic Hotline television channel, somebody has stolen his mind reading act. He goes to the studio to complain and somehow manages to get hired as a TV psychic.