RiffTrax Shorts

There are so many things to which drugs can be compared that to even attempt to catalog them would be an act of incomprehensible madness. Yet in this pastel colored, 1970's nightmare, two hard-of-hearing pre-teens are up to the task! Are drugs like pumpkins? Like small willow saplings? Like those bags of cotton candy you can buy in gift shops? Find out as Mike, Kevin and Bill go into the breach!

If you like your safety shorts served with a heavy dose of groovy, then this is for you! Bone-shattering death awaits around every corner. See your own tragic fate played out again and again, all backed up by a smooth drum-based soundtrack. You Will die in an accident, but Down and Out will make the few moments before you do that much more pleasant. Mike, Kevin and Bill are here to share the pain.

When you hear the word "patriotism" what's the first name that pops into your head? Wrong! The answer is Bob Crane. And not "Hogan's Heroes" Bob Crane, but rather creepy, post-"Hogan's Heroes" Bob Crane, home video, um, "pioneer". Fear not, feelings of discomfort soon turn to laughter thanks to true patriots Mike, Kevin and Bill.

Tired of "PC" dogs who "like" children and "accept" other mutts without passing judgment? Well then, Skipper is the racist dog for you! He humps the leg of intolerance and takes a good long sniff at bigotry's...er, tail! Will Skipper's titular lesson be learned in time to redeem him in the eyes of his fellow dogs? Find out, in Mike, Kevin and Bill's hilarious riff of Skipper Learns a Lesson.

Buying food - how hard can it be? You go to a store pick out a few items, and start mashing them into the side of your head, right? WRONG! That's a common misconception, but as Buying Food clearly demonstrates, buying food is a very, very dangerous and complicated affair. To even attempt it without instruction is to court heartbreak and, most likely, violent death.

Right or Wrong tells the gritty story of Harry, a boy who doesn't vandalize a warehouse and suffers the consequences for it. Parents be warned: This being an educational film about vandalism, some minor breaking of windows may occur. Mike, Kevin and Bill riffing this short: Right or Wrong? (Answer: Wrong, but fun, therefore Right)

Women - what the hell, man? I mean, what's your problem? Thankfully, for all of us non-women, some very smart people have put their best be-crew-cutted minds into coming up with a solution to the trouble with women. The Trouble with Women gives us some very useful tools for dealing with... them. Mike, Kevin, and Bill (themselves NOT women) are your guides through this indispensable short.

Bill Duncan realized the great truth of suburban America: His problems were the fault of his neighbor. The rats in the lumber pile, the pestilence breeding in the backyard, his sure thing horse breaking its leg, resulting in the pawning of his son's bicycle: They weren't his fault! Take a journey of neighborly blame with three of the finger-pointingist fellas you know-Mike, Kevin and Bill!