Call Me Fitz

Richard "Fitz" Fitzpatrick, morally bankrupt top salesman of pre-owned automobiles for 9 years running, hits rock bottom when he crashes a GT on a test drive, puts a woman in a coma, and wakes up to find he's grown a conscience.

After a failed hit on Larry's life, Fitz's only option is to get rid of him by proving Larry's crazy. After all, he claims to be his conscience.

When Fitz discovers his father is leaving Fitzpatrick Motors to Larry in his will, he has no choice but to prove Larry is NOT his long-lost, responsible brother. And the only way to do it is a quick visit to his absentee, alcoholic mother Elaine.

Fitz quickly unloads Elaine's car in hopes of putting their broken relationship behind him for good. But Larry is convinced it was a desperate plea to get her back in his life. Unfortunately for Fitz, that's exactly what happens.

When Larry and Meghan buy Ken a birthday present, Fitz scrambles to come up with his own gift to blow Meghan's out of the water. But the only thing they have in common is cars and porn.

Fitz tries to hook Larry up with a drunk chick, only to end up sleeping with Janet, the drunkest of them all. But the next morning Fitz discovers Janet wasn't drunk, she's brain damaged.

Hoping to take advantage of spousal privilege, Fitz proposes to a comatose Babs, believing it will prevent her morse-code testimony. In an attempt to placate Larry, Fitz makes him his Best Man.

Fitz is pleasantly surprised to discover his marriage to Babs fulfills his latent maternal longings. After Fitz fully regresses to a child-like state, Babs discovers he doesn't want a lover, he wants a Mommy.

Being a widower has its perks; the pity, the gifts, the inheritance - which Fitz uses to buy a plot of land for his dream bar, The Summer Wind Lounge. Ali learns her mother's dying wish was an organic burial. Unfortunately it's illegal.

A morally bankrupt used-car salesman is forced to work with a do-gooder who acts as his conscience.

Reeling from the Ali debacle, Fitz has a new plan to get rid of Larry: if he's good for once, there'd be no need to have a conscience. Larry would finally leave him alone. So Fitz sets up a charity drive for Ned the cripple - not a kid, but a curmudgeonly middleaged guy in a wheelchair.

A sniper takes siege of Fitzpatrick Motors. Larry is convinced Fitz's cowardice in withholding his syphilis diagnosis from his sexual partners has brought this upon them. But as Fitz points out, it could be any one of the hundreds of people who want him dead.

The final numbers for the Fibbies are in, and Fitz is way out of contention. But there's a loop-hole - salesmen can enter as a team. As Fitz schemes to sign Larry as his 'plus one', Larry gets an anonymous letter: a clue into a past he no longer remembers.

Fitz wakes up in a motel room with his captors, Ali, Sonja, and Julia, the leader of the Bad Men and the Good Women Who Love Them support group. But the women are divided on what they want to do with him - castrate him or record a hostage-style video PSA to warn women everywhere.