Roseanne

As the baby's birth approaches, the Conner family makes plans for the new arrival. On a shopping spree with Jackie, Roseanne schemes a way to buy an expensive new crib. While painting the baby's room and making plans for Roseanne's shower, Darlene and Becky wind up in a hair-pulling fight. And David's attempt to have a 'guy shower' for Dan and his friends doesn't turn out quite the way he expected.

Roseanne sparks a fight with Jackie when she feeds Andy junk food against Jackie's orders. Dan spends some "quality" time with DJ to show his son that he does more than watch television and drink beer all day.

A new restaurant opens up across the street from the Lunch Box and, while Jackie is worried sick, Roseanne seems unconcerned -- that is until she learns they have a luncheon special that's a direct rip-off of her loose meat sandwich. Then it's all-out war! Heading out in the dark of night, Roseanne drags Jackie into their competitor's place after hours for a little 'redecorating!'

Dreading the prospect of "baby jail," Roseanne insists Dan go out with her for one last Saturday night "date" before their baby arrives. But while waiting to be served dinner at a fancy hotel, they wander into a Bar Mitzvah celebration and have a fabulous time. Even Uncle Sol (the only one who's discovered they're party crashers) is having fun chatting with the Conners. Meanwhile, back at the Lunch Box, Becky and Darlene re-establish their sisterly bond over a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps!

Roseanne goes into labor on her favorite holiday (Halloween) and gives birth on a pain-medication-induced psychedelic trip.

Roseanne tells the audience that they are about to see the original pilot for the "Roseanne" show. It's the Conner family, '50s-style, with the addition of little brother "Stinky" Conner, Mark as Rebecca's boyfriend, and David as Davide, a French Canadian exchange student. The plot centers on Rosey helping "The Deej" achieve his dream of playing the guitar in his own rock band while convincing Dan, who has wanted "The Deej" to become a football star, that it was all his idea.

Roseanne and Jackie's shopping trip turns into a road trip when they pick up a hitchhiking teenage girl. Dan gives Mark relationship advice that severely backfires.

DJ's teacher lets the class design their own Thanksgiving pageant, which turns into a Pulp Fiction spoof that offends many parents. Roseanne invites some new Native American friends over for Thanksgiving.

Dan is regretful and depressed when his old band comes to town to play a gig. Roseanne talks the band mates into giving Dan a chance onstage, which he enjoys to the fullest.

Feeling it's important for the new baby to know what the family was like when he was born, Roseanne makes a video to give to him on his 16th birthday. Becky and Darlene clean out old boxes and discover Dan and Roseanne's teenage love letters! David is cleaning up as well, and finds Darlene's and Becky's baby books. Of course, D.J. wants to know where his baby book is, and Dan has trouble giving him an answer.

A cast full of special guests appear for the campiest, wackiest wedding of the century! Scott is about to marry Leon, even though Leon left him at the altar five years ago, and Roseanne is going to be the wedding coordinator. Enlisting everyone's help, Roseanne creates an outlandish spectacle, and Leon is so appalled, he angrily cancels the ceremony. Offering to redecorate, Roseanne has a heart-to-heart talk with Leon and learns he actually has 'cold feet' again!

Jackie discovers her hidden talent as a salesperson when she and Roseanne take jobs at a grocery store handing out samples. Envious of Jackie's success, Roseanne starts a food fight and the two of them get fired. At home, Dan is miffed when David suggests that Mark isn't a good role model for D.J. David concludes that maybe he should move out of the Conners' home, and much to his surprise, Dan quickly agrees.

Bequeathed several hundred dollars from her Aunt Harriet, Roseanne takes the whole Conner clan out for a very fancy dinner. There she learns that D.J. has been willed an even larger legacy, which he's using to buy a trombone to impress a girl in his class! Showing up just in time to share this special dinner with her family, Darlene casually announces she's turned down a thirty-thousand dollar-a-year job in order to finish school. Struggling with feelings of resentment, Dan believes that maybe Darlene is starting to feel superior to her blue collar family.

Knowing that Becky is feeling a little depressed about Darlene's big job offer, Mark invites the Conners over for a surprise get-together to cheer her up. This only makes her more depressed, and later she tells Mark she's going to college and then medical school. Roseanne then tells Becky she's proud of her decision to get an education, but cautions her not to give up on Mark and their marriage.

Scott complains to Roseanne that since they've been married, Leon has become lazy and they have no social life, so Roseanne invites them to Dan's poker party. A visit from Nana Mary and a box of toys from Jackie and Roseanne's childhood leads to reminiscences and accusations. Becky and Darlene cook a birthday dinner for Bev, and she confides that she feels like an outcast in her own family. And conversation at the poker party turns to a debate on whether gays or blacks are more discriminated against.

Dan is torn between the security of his job, and the possibility of making big bucks as part of his friends' construction crew at the new prison being built just outside of town. He turns to Roseanne to help with his decision. David helps an intimidated Jackie set up her new computer, and finds out the next day she hasn't turned it off yet. Jackie's addicted to "surfing the Internet!" Later, it's time for celebration when Dan and the guys learn they've won the bid for the construction job.

The Conner family decides to throw caution to the wind by spending Dan's last paycheck from the garage on a vacation to Disney World.

Magic, wonder, and whimsy surround the Conner family on their tour of Disney World. The only person not amused is Darlene...until she meets Winnie the Pooh.

David moves out when he gets a job at a strange local theme park. Soon, David is transformed into "Hans the Hare", a hyperactive and perky park employee. Roseanne steps into action in order to get the real David back.

Now that David has a job in Chicago, he and Darlene discuss living together. Then Darlene suggests maybe they should get married...since she's pregnant! Although Dan is very upset, Roseanne takes the news surprisingly well. In fact, she's got it all figured out. Darlene is going to have a baby roughly the same age as her youngest brother, and she's marrying a boy Roseanne and Dan consider to be their "son." That makes the Conners the "white-trashiest" family in all the world!

During a man-on-the-street interview on "Wake Up, Chicago," Roseanne speaks her mind. The producers love her opinionated blue collar outlook so much, they invite her to Chicago to be a guest commentator on the show. But just as she's about to go on the air, a bad case of stage fright overcomes her, and Jackie must come to the rescue with an encouraging, last-minute pep talk.

Bev is smitten with her charismatic ballroom-dance instructor until he starts putting the moves on a newly divorced Jackie. When Jackie agrees to a date with the instructor, jealousy takes hold of Bev.

Darlene and David get married. Dan suffers a heart attack during the ceremony.

Dan is rushed to the hospital after having a heart attack and Roseanne tries to pull herself together while she's stuck in the waiting room.

Dan returns home from the hospital but Roseanne finds out he's not sticking to the doctor's orders.