Archer

In yet another attempt to secure funding for the international spy agency, Malory drags her agents to the luxury winter resort town of Gstaad to protect a Swiss billionaire's daughter from a kidnapping threat. But Archer soon finds out the real threat is his protectee: an underage nymphomaniac who will stop at nothing to bed the world's greatest spy.

After Malory is wiped out in a Ponzi scheme, she hatches a scheme of her own: selling the international spy agency - lock, stock and snack machines - to archrival spy agency ODIN. Archer and the rest of the international spy agency employees, rightfully fearing for their jobs, must use every trick in the book (International Spy Agency Field Manual, 3rd Edition) to try to stop the sale.

Archer is in for a huge (well, about ten pounds) surprise when his favorite call girl, Trinette, shows up at the international spy agency with a bouncing baby boy on her hip. And a subpoena for a paternity test in her purse. Is Archer the father of the wee baby Seamus? Well, that's what the paternity test is for. That's why they have those.

While Malory tries to make the international spy agency a green workplace, Archer and Lana head to the Louisiana bayous to prevent a dangerous eco-terrorist from bombing America's largest natural gas pipeline. Archer's equipment checklist for the mission will include an airboat, a sawn-off shotgun, a compound bow, and nine cases of beer.

Trinette has dumped the wee baby Seamus with Archer and Woodhouse while she's at the Pimps and Hos ball. Archer's annoyed that he has to spend his first Friday off in forever devising a punishment for Woodhouse for allowing her to do so.

Tired of his colleagues constantly calling him a failure, Cyril agrees to help George Spelvin, a mysterious computer security expert, inject a virus into the international spy agency's mainframe so Cyril can defeat the virus and be seen as a hero. Not surprisingly, the plan goes awry: Cyril didn't count on sexy, bikini-clad ninjas.

The normal childish squabbles, sneaky backbiting, and petty jealousies at the international spy agency are multiplied exponentially when a famous Hollywood actress, Rona Thorne, spends a week shadowing the agents as research for an upcoming role in a spy movie. A movie in which Malory would - and may - literally kill to land a part.

After Malory's brief scare with breast cancer, another agent at the international spy agency decides to be tested for the disease, with a tragic result. The other agent is Archer, and the tragic result is that yes, he has breast cancer. Because a career spent disarming nuclear warheads and having sex in x-ray machines will tend to do that.

Krieger doesn't understand why Archer isn't having any adverse reactions to his chemotherapy. Archer thinks it's because he's a badass (and he's also enjoying his medical marijuana).

The international spy agency goes into full lockdown after Pam is abducted by kidnappers. Wait, Pam? Yes, but the kidnappers were really after Cheryl/Carol. Wait, Cheryl/Carol? Yes, because Cheryl/Carol isn't quite who she appears to be. Or is it whom? We'll find the answers to these questions - and two more - on this episode of ARCHER.

When a mysterious stranger summons Malory and her intrepid international spy agency agents to Monaco, all bets are off! Well, actually all bets are on because Monaco is basically one giant casino and Archer has $4 million in untraceable bearer bonds. Also, it's Grand Prix week, so you can just forget getting a hotel room.

Ray, on his way to a secret mission in Russia, gossips to the airmen on the plane that Malory sent him instead of Archer because she's been sleeping with KGB head Nikolai Jakov for years, and Archer would want to try to find out if Jakov is his father. Unfortunately for Ray, one of the airmen is Archer in disguise, and he slugs Ray, knocking him out.

Suspicion and jealousy are rife at the international spy agency as Krieger nears completion of a top-secret project, and Archer brings beautiful - and mysterious - former KGB agent Katya Kazanova home to meet Malory. Who reacts about like one would expect.